


Scattered Puzzle Pieces

by Yemi Hikari (Yemi_Hikari)



Series: Fanfic Friday [21]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Autism, Autistic Gaara, Big Change, Childhood, F/M, Family, Fatherhood, Gen, Motherhood, Raising an Autistic Child, fanfic friday, preemie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:26:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25158463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yemi_Hikari/pseuds/Yemi%20Hikari
Summary: Rasa and Karura hoped for a third healthy child, but complications occurred resulting in their third child being born prematurely. Frustration grows for Rasa upon realizing his youngest isn't normal either, causing a strain on his marriage with Karura.
Relationships: Gaara & Karura (Naruto), Gaara & Rasa (Naruto), Karura/Rasa (Naruto)
Series: Fanfic Friday [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1818250
Kudos: 14
Collections: (Prompts) Fanfic Friday, Autistic Characters, Fuck Yeah Autistic Characters, Naruto: Autistic Gaara, Platonic Relationships





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto. This was written for Wattpad's Big Change contest, and is comprised of eight chapters total. The goal of said contest was to take ones OTP and write about a big change in their life, and how it effected them, 8,000 words or less. I decided to do a situational AU as well as an AU where Karura lives, where their marriage is strained because Gaara is not only a preemie, but also on the autism spectrum.

Parents are supposed to protect their children.

Rasa's dark eyes peered into the NICU, his big calloused hand pressed against the glass, his nose close to follow, the shocks of auburn strands of hair on one small babe making it clear that tiny thing was his. The auburn haired man leaned in closer, his nose also almost pressing against the glass, the corners of the young man's mouth pressing down into a harsh frown.

Things were different when Temari and Kankuro were born, first off being that no complications occurred for Karura, but this time his beautiful, sandy haired wife appeared a fragile flower blowing away on the win. Remembering the way Karura looked made his eyes clench shut, a bitter taste coming to Rasa's face, the only thing that seemed more fragile then Karura then in his life being the small child in the NICU. " _At least the color has returned to Karura's face, and she's gotten most of her strength back._ "

Rasa's eyes opened again, remembering that Temari and Kankuro were both born with a fairly nice size to them, and Karura instantly held them after the were born. The two were then dressed in pink and blue clothing respectfully, their rather large diapers making their bottoms look poofy, weirdly enough. This little thing on the other hand was not only engulfed by the diaper instead, but was otherwise unclothed. Wires crisscrossed, and connected to the thing as if it were some kind of robot.

"Rasa?"

Karura's soft voice broke the silence, and Rasa titled his head to the side, his dark brown eyes taking in her beauty. Circles appeared under her eyes indicating she hadn't quite regained her strength, her sandy hair falling down into her eyes. Yashamaru, her younger brother, pushed her wheelchair, and gave Rasa a weak smile – bags were under his eyes as well. The auburn haired man winced, the memory of finding Karura on the floor of the kitchen rushing through his head.

Brushing the thought aside, Rasa's brown eyes traveled over to the thing in the NICU, and he felt Karura's delicate hand gently take his own. "Gaara is going to be alright, Rasa."

"He looks like he's going to break. He's smaller then my hand. Temari and Kankuro were never that small." The man took a deep breath, his head darting down so that his auburn locks fell into view, Rasa's calloused hand tightening protectively around Karura's. " _I couldn't protect them._ "

"I'm going to go in to see Gaara. Do you wish to come with me?"

The auburn haired man felt his shoulder muscles tense up, the thought of getting closer to that fragile thing sending a shudder down his spine.

Karura squeezed his hand, her voice soft and gentle. "You don't have to. I understand."

Rasa felt a twinge, feeling as if he should do something more, but every thought of holding, or touching the small infant brought up thoughts of Gaara breaking into a million pieces, which only made the guilty feeling feel worse.


	2. Messy Life Lies

Calloused fingers gripped the pencil tight as Rasa tried writing the letter to someone letting them know how Karura and the small infant were doing, but who the auburn haired man quickly forgot who he was planning on writing to upon hearing a commotion from out in the living area. Tension settled into Rasa's shoulders, his throat tightening knowing he had somehow managed to leave Temari and Kankuro alone longer then he'd planned. The door opened, and the man's dark brown eyes traveled across the room, taking in the cluttered mess, plus the sobbing children in the middle of everything.

"Temari, Kankuro..."

"He started it!" Temari's indigo colored eyes that matched her mothers were hidden as she tried rubbing away the tears, and Kankuro sobbed out a reply in similar manner telling their father it was his big sisters fault.

The man walked over to the couch, and sat down letting his auburn locks fall down into his eyes, letting the children continue crying. " _Exactly what am I supposed to do? If Karura was here, she would have know exactly what to do. Speaking of which..._ " A calloused hand reached up to rub the back of Rasa's neck, his brown eyes unable to look either child in the eye. "What am I to do? You're mother's supposed to home from the hospital soon. Your uncle Yashamaru is bringing her?"

Temari's sobs settled down to sniffles, and the four year old hiccuped. "Not the baby?"

"Eh, no. The baby isn't with them." The auburn haired man raised his head to look both of the children in the eye, and noted that Temari's pretty indigo eyes looked like they were going to well up with tears any moment, but Kankuro stopped bawling completely, a scowl planted on his face as his small chubby arms crossed his chest. " _No, Gaara's stuck at the hospital for awhile longer._ " Rasa rubbed the back of his neck again, letting his dark brown eyes close from tiredness, as a rather unpleasant thought crossed his mind. " _I've not been able to touch either one of them since it happened. Karura's been patient with me, but I can't expect she'll be much longer._ "

"Good."

Rasa's tired eyes snapped open, and he looked his eldest son in the eyes, seeing very quickly a pair of eyes that matched his own color wise. For some reason the two year old had a gleeful look on his face, and seemed quite pleased. "Excuse me?"

Kankuro heard the auburn haired man raise his voice, and his lip trembled, sniffles coming from both children. "Baby took mommy."

"I want baby!" Temari's voice rose up, her voice straining to fight back the racking sobs, only for both children to burst into tears.

Two calloused hands reached down to clench around Rasa's knees, his throat tightening as his mind contemplated what to do with the two children. The urge to stand up, possibly yell at the two to stop quickly found itself replaced by panic upon hearing the sound of the front door opening, accompanied by Yashamaru and Karura's voices. The auburn haired man turned to look at the look of surprise plastered on the faces of the two sandy haired adults, and then let out a sigh as he let his head hang down low.

A delicate laugh came from Karura's mouth as the sound of small feet scurried across the floor making an even bigger mess, the sobs still evident, but quickly abated by their mother's gentle words. "You should be more patient with them, Rasa."

Tension hit the auburn haired man at his shoulder blades, knowing full well that he hadn't yelled at the children, or even attempted to punish them for making the mess. Rasa's dark eyes snapped shut, realization hitting him that Karura knowing he'd left the two toddlers to their own devices was worse, and the man spoke, his throat dry with the lie. "I'll try to be better next time, to be more patient." Two brown eyes opened, as the auburn haired man turned to smile at his wife. " _I did almost lose my patience with them, and ended up yelling. Had she walked in then... I don't even want to think about it._ "


	3. Distance

Somehow Karura felt at peace amid the chaotic destruction caused by her two eldest, and her soft lips twisted up into a delicate smile, fully enjoying the look of discomfort on her auburn haired husband's face. Rasa had never been one to be open with his feelings purposefully, and she took delight when some kind of emotion broke through the stubborn man's features. This particular case of discomfort resulted from Rasa's compulsion for everything to go just right.

Finding out why the two toddlers destroyed the living room never happened, nor did the sandy haired young woman ever find out how Rasa handled the situation.

Instead Karura constantly found herself staring into a pair of brown eyes which looked at her as if she would break into a million pieces, and she missed the touch of his calloused hands, as Rasa's fear of her breaking managed to extend to physical affections despite there no longer being a use for a wheelchair. "How long are you going to avoid me?"

Karura watched the auburn haired man flinch, Rasa's brown eyes looking right into her own, allowing the woman to read the guilt written there, and instantly she knew he was emotionally hurting, but her husband wouldn't let her fingers sooth his mood with her delicate touch. Instead Temari and Kankuro clung to Karura's side while the familiar head of auburn hair remained hidden in his home office, and Rasa also refused to visit Gaara in the hospital.

Being able to bring the tiny infant home delighted her, and Karura's two eldest finally met their little brother. Temari's indigo colored eyes widened, the small corners of the girl's mouth twisting up as a small finger slipped into her mouth, but Kankuro's mouth twisted into a scowl similar to the one Rasa used, the child's small fists balled up as his arms crossed his chest.

Rasa noted their presence on the couch, and his dark eyes drifted down to the small child, the man's auburn hair currently just as messy as the small infants locks of hair. The man stepped over, a mug of hot coffee in one of his calloused hands.

"Taking a break?"

The auburn haired man continued to stare at the infant, the look in his eyes switching from fear of breaking something precious to one of utter dread. "Is there something wrong with him?"

Karura's throat tightened upon hearing these words from her husband, the tone of voice completely emotionless, as if Rasa had chosen to distance himself from some kind of problem. Her indigo eyes begged for there to be some kind of mistake. "What do you mean?"

"He's ust staring at nothing. Temari and Kankuro didn't do that."

"They also weren't preemies." Yashamaru's voice broke made Rasa lock eyes on her sandy haired brother instead, but eventually her auburn haired husband headed back into his office.

"Otouto..."

"Don't nee-chan. He was willing to act as a father when the children were born healthy, but because Gaara.."

"That's not it." Karura brushed a soft lock away from Gaara's forehead. "It's complicated, his moods."

"I'm worried about you. I've not seen him like this before."

"I have. It's really nothing to worry about."

Rasa avoided everyone even more then, and Karura found herself doing things on her own. She sat at the foot of her bed on the floor, supported by pillows when Temari came up at her, a curious look in the toddlers indigo eyes. "Baby?"

Karura's own indigo eyes blinked. "So you want to hold the baby?" She watched as a smile spread across the four year old's face, and she set the girl down explaining how to hold the baby so Temari wouldn't hurt the baby, and out of the corner of her eye noticed Kankuro watching. The sandy haired woman settled back, watching her daughter hold the baby, her eyes dropping from exhaustion.


	4. Touching Fingers

Something was wrong.

The tiny thing simply stared at the ceiling, the pair of sea foam green eyes looking at nothing. A sickening feeling hit the pit of Rasa's stomach, his dark brown eyes staring at the infant held in his wife's delicate arms. The auburn haired man found himself unable to process his thoughts, and somehow managed to drift back to his home office, his calloused fingers picking up the pen so he could get back to work.

" _You need to talk to Karura about this._ " Rasa bit down lightly on the tip of his tongue, the thoughts rattling in his head having not dissipated after a few days. His calloused fingers tightened around the pen, his lips tightening as his auburn locks hung down in front of his eyes. " _Something is wrong. Something is wrong, and I don't know what to do._ " The door to the office clicked open, and Rasa allowed his tense shoulders to relax slightly, his auburn head of hair turning to see who it was. One corner of his mouth twisted up upon seeing Kankuro. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing."

" _Nothing usually means something, but what harm can a_ _two year old get into._ " Rasa turned back to the paperwork on his desk, hoping to get the work done in time for the meeting tomorrow at the office, and absentmindedly his hand reached down to ruffle Kankuro's as the toddler opened up the bottom drawer, but finally the sounds of items rattling around made the auburn haired man to glance down at the brown locks of hair just in time for Kankuro to hold up his treasure. "What have you got there Kankuro?"

A big grin spread across the toddler's face, and one chubby finger pointed at the stamps. "Stickers!"

"Those aren't stickers. They're for mailing things. Do you have something to mail Kankuro?"

"Yes! Yes!" The toddler hurried off, his teeth a bright white contrast against the dark locks hanging down in front of the boy's eyes, indicating it was time for a haircut. One of Kankuro's small feet stepped in front of the foot which would move next, and the toddler quickly fell to the floor with a loud thud.

" _I need to get those from_ him." Rasa fought the temptation to chuckle at Kankuro's antics knowing full well this would only encourage the small boy's antics. "Hold on." The auburn haired man began to push himself up from the desk, his movements frozen when the phone began to ring, his brown eyes drifting down to the phone on the desk. A sigh escaped Rasa's mouth, and rather begrudgingly he sat back down. "Baki, is there something important going on at the office?"

A guilty pang rushed through Rasa's stomach upon realizing he hoped Baki would give him an excuse to get out of there, but instead the auburn haired man's jaw set tightly as Baki began to ask questions of how Karura and the new baby were doing, and the older man found his mouth twisting down knowing full well that Yashamaru had put Baki up to calling. Rasa's teeth ground together, wishing for some way to escape, when a tug drew his eyes downward.

Temari stood beside him, her indigo colored eyes filled with tears. "Daddy..."

"What is it sweetie?"

"Baby..."

"Can't your mother handle it?"

"Sleep."

Rasa's calloused hand ruffled Temari's sandy locks of hair, remembering once a long time ago telling his daughter to come and get him if her mother was taking a nap. "Alright, what is the matter then."

"Baby... Kankuro..."

The auburn haired man felt his facial features flinch, the tension growing as the fear grew in the pit of his stomach. Rasa stood up letting the chair clatter to the ground, the phone still attached to his ear. "Kankuro did something to the baby?" Baki's voice could still be heard on the other line, and Rasa could hear the panic in the other man's voice, but the auburn haired man still let the phone drop to the desk with a thud from his calloused fingers.

Temari's fingers intwined with his calloused ones, and he headed into the bedroom where Karura leaned up against the foot of the bed, her head tilted down indicating the sandy haired woman's exhaustion got the better of her. Beside her Kankuro licked a stamp, the two year old's grimy finger's pressing the sticky squares to the baby. Rasa felt his voice tighten, and quickly he scooped Gaara up into his arms, the auburn haired man not realizing he held his youngest for the first time.

"What..." Rasa stopped speaking, his dark eyes taking in Karura's stirring figure. The auburn haired man lowered his voice. "Kankuro, what were you doing?"

The two year old looked up at him with the biggest, and most innocent brown eyes the man had ever seen, and the brown haired toddler's smile spread wide as his small chubby hands lifted up into the air. "Baby go bye-bye!"

An arm tightened slightly in a protective manner as Rasa stared down at the oldest of his son's in disbelief, and Temari tugged at her father's sleeve again. "I don't want baby to go bye-bye."

"Baby is absolutely not going bye-bye." The man headed into the kitchen, Rasa's brown eyes looking the utter look of disappointment written all over Kankuro's face. Temari sniffled next to him, still hanging onto the auburn haired man's clothing, her fists tight, and her face leaving tear stains on his pants leg. Setting Gaara down onto the kitchen counter, Rasa felt his mouth twist down into a frown as the infant's facial feature's crinkled up in discomfort, the baby's small limb's moving slightly. " _He's not crying. Temari and Kankuro would have both cried._ "

The man shook his head, letting the auburn haired locks flop about for a bit, Rasa's mind telling him he was just being paranoid. Two calloused finger's reached down to tug one of the stamp's off the small infant's skin, only for Gaara's movement's to become more agitated, and a sharp sound to escape the babe's lips. "Shush, it's going to be alright."

Calloused fingers went to work putting together a warm bath in the infant sized tub, and Rasa went to work at removing the clothing before putting his youngest into the warm bath. Gaara's limbs soon began to settle down, almost as if he were falling asleep, and some of the stamps came off leaving red marks, but others Rasa needed to take a damp cloth to. A dry stinging feeling settled into the back of Rasa's throat. "Who would have thought you would be so fussy?" The auburn haired man's voice quaked, almost as if Rasa were trying to pretend things were normal, but the sickening feeling came back. " _This is nothing like Temari and Kankuro._ "

Brushing the thoughts aside, Rasa soon dressed the infant into the warmest clothes he could find, and felt Gaara's small fingers wrap around his finger. A thud hit the auburn haired man in his chest, and his brown eyes widened realizing that he had finally touched his youngest. Gently he lifted Gaara to his shoulder, and headed over to the couch, allowing himself to rest on the couch to take a nap with the tiny infant, a feeling of relief rushing over him. Two brown eyes closed briefly, only to snap open at a familiar tug at his sleeve.

The man turned his head to find himself looking into Temari's beautiful eyes, her small hands, asking to hold Gaara. "Baby?"

A smile spread across Rasa's lips. One calloused hand reached out to ruffle his daughter's sandy locks of hairs, knowing full well his response would receive a pout from her. "Sorry, but it's daddy's turn to hold Gaara."

Another sigh escaped his lips as Rasa's eyes snapped shut, allowing himself to take a nap with Gaara.


	5. Bubbling Up

A thumping sound startled Karura awake, and for a moment she thought it was her heart, her indigo eyes drifting over to the place Temari should have been sitting with Gaara. Instead she saw a box of stamps with some scattered around on the ground, the sandy haired woman's breath catching in her throat as she sat up, the knocking on the door coming again. Her feet moved quickly, only for Karura's entire body to ram to a stop upon seeing a rather peaceful sight on the couch.

Rasa lay there asleep, Gaara settled against his broad chest, the infant's auburn locks cradled in a protective manner in the palm of Rasa's calloused hand. Temari curled up at the man's feet, a blanket wrapped around her, a soft snore fluffing a lock of sandy haired up and down. Kankuro on the other hand sat with his back leaning against the front of the couch as he sat on the floor, his small arms folded so his chubby hands were hidden, his small mouth twisted into a pout. A soft smile spread across Karura's face, another knock coming at the door as she took another blanket to cover her husband up.

Arriving at the door she found her sandy haired brother rather in a panic, his breath coming in a sharp manner. Her eyes widened. "Whatever is the matter?"

"Baki was on the phone with Rasa, when he said something about Kankuro doing something to the baby."

Karura's beautiful indigo eyes blinked a couple of times, the smile falling from her face. "Oh. That would explain why Kankuro is sulking right now."

"Gaara is alright though?" Yashamaru's cheeks were pale, making the young sandy haired man look ill.

"Gaara is taking a nap with Rasa right now." The sandy haired woman allowed her smile to flutter across her face, and her indigo eyes watched her brother's shoulder's relax.

"Rasa is..." Another pair of indigo eyes blinked, and her brother's voice strained as if he would cry. "Rasa's finally held Gaara?"

"I think Kankuro kind of forced the matter. Care to help me clean up, and to talk to Kankuro to find out what happened?" The door clicked shut after letting her brother in, and Karura headed into the kitchen to see a baby bath now filled with cold water, stamps floating around in the bubbles. A laugh left her lips, and she held up one of the stamps for Yashmaru to see. "It looks like Kankuro tried decorating the baby."

The young man's face seemed strained, his indigo eyes looking pained despite the fact his older sister smiled at him. "Karura, what if that's not it? Also, what if Rasa's only getting attached to Gaara because he thinks Gaara's healthy? What if he's right, and something is wrong with Gaara?"

Emotional stress instantly washed over Karura, her shoulders straining while he throat tightened. "No, Rasa would never reject Gaara, at least not intentionally?"

"At least not intentionally?" Yashamaru's voice strained.

Karura held up her hands, and then softly placed them on her brother's shoulder's much in the same manner she did as children. "Yashmaru, Rasa has an issue with letting people know what he really feels, and sometimes he can come across as, well, cold. You know that."

One delicate hand reached up to brush away a strand of her sandy hair, while Yashmaru looked away, his arms slack at his sides. "Except..." A silence fell over the room. "It never came across that way. He's an open book."

"One you can't read." Karura quickly turned her brother around, and pointed him in the direction of Kankuro. "How about you try reading a book that you can read? This one is titled _Kankuro Did Something to Baby Gaara_? Find out the ending, will you?"

Karura wandered over, and sat down nearby, listening as Yashmaru managed to pry out what happened, and the fact Kankuro didn't like having Gaara around. "Don't you want to be a big brother, sweetie?"

Kankuro looked up at her with big brown eyes, watery and big like she had never seen Rasa's be. "Baby took mama?"

"What?"

Yashmaru took a sigh. "I think he blames Gaara for you getting sick, and being stuck in the hospital."

"Oh no." Karura gently pulled the two year old into her arms. "No, Gaara didn't make mommy sick, or take her away." Her delicate lips placed a kiss on Kankuro's forehead, watching the tears stream down his warm cheeks. "See, mommy and Gaara both got sick, and while mommy is better, we've still got to take good care of the baby, because he's so much smaller then me. We almost lost him to, you know?"

Kankuro let out a hiccup, and Karura's fingers brushed away a lock of hair, her chin resting on the top of toddler's forehead. Yashmaru still looked exasperated, and a frown spread across her face as Rasa slept near her, oblivious to what went on. " _Please. Let Rasa finally touching Gaara be a good sign. Please._ "


	6. No Touch

Touch...

" _This is the price I'm to pay for neglecting Karura like I did, and Gaara as well for that matter._ " Holding his small son in his arms felt wonderful for the auburn haired man, and briefly Rasa felt things would work out, but eventually everything came crashing down.

No first words.

No first steps.

The important milestones for small children came and went, and Gaara remained stagnant in his growth, staring up at nothing, finally turning over onto his stomach at the age Temari and Kankuro learned to walk. Rasa found himself looking into the mirror, wondering how something so small and frail could look so much like himself, except for the sea foam green eyes. The auburn haired man tugged at his tie, attempting to straighten out the aggravating object, Rasa's lips tightening.

"Daddy!"

Two dark brown eyes blinked, Rasa's mind coming back into focus, his head turning to look at Temari. "Yes?"

"We're going to be late for my entrance ceremony!"

Rasa sighed, a calloused hand reached up to ruffle his auburn locks in frustration. "I'm almost ready to go."

"Mommy's trying to get Kankuro to unlock the door, and Gaara's still only wearing a diaper! We're going to be late!"

The man's throat tightened, remembering how the infant, now a toddler, seemed to become upset whenever Rasa touched his youngest child. The calloused hand moved to pinch his nose bridge, the auburn haired man wondering if they would make it in time for the entrance ceremony at Temari's elementary school. His daughter's lips pouted up, and yet Rasa found himself unable to laugh at how much said pout reminded him of Karura's,.

"I'll take care of Gaara." Rasa's calloused fingers rubbed the back of the neck, wondering if it would be better to switch places with Karura, only to remember how his tongue the last year or so felt weighted down with cement every time the auburn haired man tried to communicate with her. Arriving in the living room, his brown eyes didn't pick up any sight of the small auburn haired toddler on the soft blanket Karura always placed Gaara on.

The man felt his chest tighten, but then Rasa saw Gaara slowly moving across the floor, seemingly pursuing nothing in particular. The man's brown eyes widened at seeing one small limb slowly move, and a pleasant feeling settled down into the pit of his stomach knowing that Gaara was finally crawling, yet the auburn haired man for some reason still felt agitation. Rasa stepped over to the toddler, reaching down to lift him up, two dark brown eyes noticing how small Gaara was compared to others his age.

Every thought smashed against a wall, the sound of screaming sending a sickening feeling riveting through Rasa's brain. Gaara was now in his arms, screeching right into his ear as if the auburn haired man had done something wrong. Hot tears ran down the toddler's cheeks, the auburn haired child's eyes squeezed shut, and his small fists clenching together before pounding into Rasa's body. The child tried twisting about, nearly lurching from his father's arms to the ground below, and the auburn haired man yelled out for Karura, not thinking that the screaming could get louder, but it did.

Gently Karura lifted Gaara from his father's arms, and began to sooth the child down, her movements slow, her touch gentle. The sandy haired woman ended up being the woman to hold Gaara during the entrance ceremony, and Rasa simply stared, not noticing the look Yashamaru gave the auburn haired man while video taping Temari's entrance ceremony. Soon after it became apparent that Gaara didn't like being touched, but the fact Karura could touch their youngest hit in a hard, nauseating way.

The auburn haired infant wouldn't let Rasa touch him, and the toddler would start screaming if one calloused hand came near the child.

Something was wrong, and even Karura's facial features began to twist up in worry, particular every time a match of Gaara's screams and Rasa's stubborn silence started up. The auburn toddler started to tire them out far more then Kankuro or Temari ever had, which said a lot due to the fact the elder children were balls of energy. Rasa found himself taking an evening shift so Karura could at least return to work in the evenings, leaving him alone with the kids.

Shifts meant watching Gaara play with blocks on the floor, now that he was sitting up on his own, organizing them into various patterns, but never, ever touching the child. Rasa's mind would drift away while Temari worked on her school work at the table, and soon joined by Kankuro once his second entered elementary school. The auburn haired man had gotten the two off to bed, with Kankuro complaining. "It's not fair! How come Gaara doesn't have to go to bed!"

Temari tugged at the brown haired child's night clothes. "If daddy touches Gaara, Gaara will scream."

Rasa let out a sigh as his two eldest disappeared, and his brown eyes drifted over where he last saw Gaara, his arms crossing his chest, the rather stern parental look on his face. The auburn haired man's facial features softened upon seeing the toddler staring up at the moon, using the windowsill to pull himself up onto his two tiny legs.

The man headed over to where Gaara was, choosing to sit a few feet behind, leaning back so he could look at the white moon as well. "At least you don't argue with me like Kankuro does. You also seem to be able to easily entertain yourself, and soon you'll be walking hopefully. Do you even understand what I'm saying to you Gaara?"

No response came from the toddler who continued to stare up at the white moon above.


	7. Tearing Apart

"We're going to get Gaara tested." Karura held the phone to her cheek, cradling Gaara in her arms, a bandage on the auburn haired child's forehead.

Yashamaru remained silent on the other side of the phone. " _Karura, what brought this on? I thought you didn't agree with Rasa that something was wrong? Why do you sound like you're going to cry? Rasa didn't do anything to you, did he_? _"_

The sandy haired female heard her brother's voice strain as he remained on the line, her lips pushing together. "Rasa didn't do _anything_. He's at work still, and _doesn't_ know yet."

" _Karura? What happened?_ "

Two indigo eyes looked down at the toddler, his thin frame glued to her side, where he would normally have fought to get away even from herself, as her touch set him on fire, but now Gaara found her touch to be the most comforting thing in the world. Karura let her teeth worry the bottom of her lip, remembering the day Gaara lashed out at Rasa, the hurt in her husband's eyes every single time Gaara rejected the auburn man's touch.

There were still pleasant moments between the two, like when she came home and found both of her auburn haired guys staring up at the moon, the silence quite calming compared to the awkward screaming and stubborn silences. The fact Gaara pulled himself up though proved problematic, as the toddler soon began walking, and Karura struggled with getting Gaara to not let her hand go at dangerous moments like crossing the street. The time also came to enter Gaara into preschool, and he seemed delighted to play with what the teachers gave him.

But...

"Gaara got into a fight at preschool." Karura bit down on her lip slightly, the corners of her lips creasing deeply. "I'm not sure how to tell Rasa, particularly since Gaara got hurt." Her eyes drifted over to the torn teddy bear, the one Rasa had given to Gaara, and the toddler had never really gone anywhere without.

" _Is Gaara alright?_ "

"Gaara is fine, but teddy is not."

Yashmaru became silent for a few minutes, allowing Karura to brush away a few of Gaara's auburn locks. " _The one Gaara adores? That teddy? Rasa is going to be pissed._ "

"I know. The other child really didn't mean to. He just wanted to see Gaara's teddy. Gaara wouldn't let go, and then when teddy tore, Gaara bit the other kid."

" _He WHAT?_ " Yashmaru's voice began to tremble. " _Karura..._ " The words stammered out. " _Kankuro's gotten into spats with others, and they've bonked each other a bit, but this?_ " A whimper came from Gaara's mouth, the toddler burring his face into his mother's chest. " _Is Gaara actually alright?_ "

"Besides the fact he couldn't stop sobbing over teddy? The other kid clobbered him on the head a few times, and..." Karura paused, clutching Gaara tighter. "... drew some blood."

" _Karura, Gaara's not fine. Did you take him into the emergency room at least?_ "

"Yes, yes. They told me to keep an eye on him, wake him every hour. Not that hard to do, as Gaara doesn't really sleep." Karura pulled Gaara up closer, and rested the child's head against her shoulder so she could rest her cheek against his soft cheek. "It's not just this though. Gaara's still not speaking, and the preschool, they told me Gaara can't come back until tests are done. Otherwise we need to find another preschool, and it will all just happen again."

Yashmaru sighed. " _Oh come on. They've not no grounds to demand tests. It's only been on incident._ "

"Gaara's not... it hasn't been just this." Karura pressed her lips together, her fingers tightening around the phone. "You know how Gaara is."

Another sigh came from the other side of the phone. " _Not really. I mean, I know Gaara's not speaking, but there are other things?_ "

Karura looked at the ground, not sure how to explain Gaara's behavior. Her indigo eyes closed, remembering how many times she'd picked up her auburn haired child only to be told Gaara wasn't playing with the other children, nor following instructions given to her. Her lips pushed together as she hefted Gaara up higher. "Maybe we should have started preschool sooner."

" _Nee-chan, Gaara's immune system was_ _compromised_ _, and then he was behind the others physically._ "

"Still..." Karura looked away from her small child, Gaara's small face still nestled into her shoulder, her thoughts drifting to the auburn toddler's interaction with his father and siblings. "No. It's not as simple as that. There are a lot of things. I can only pack certain things for him food wise. He's struggling."

" _Calm down. Wait for Rasa to get home. Actually, I can let him know._ "

"No, I need to tell him."

" _I got that. I can still let him know to come home early. Tell Gaara_ _that_ _Uncle Yashamaru loves him._ "

Karura continued to hold the child close, her face resting again on Gaara's cheek, her eyes taking in the torn up teddy bear, her fingers brushing through the auburn locks on Gaara's head. She finally went and sat down, her lips pushing together as she turned on the television so Gaara could watch the television. His eyes drifted to the cartoon, and stayed focus, his small body relaxing. Karura didn't relax until Rasa came through the door, and she saw the pain in Rasa's dark brown eyes.

"He's staring off at nothing again."

"I know. There was an incident at the preschool today."

"You look tired. Mind if I sit with Gaara for a bit?" The auburn haired man brushed away locks of his hair when Karura flinched. "I won't try to hold him."

"I'll get you some tea." Karura headed back to the kitchen, watching the tea steep before returning. She stopped upon seeing Rasa chat away at Gaara despite the toddler's eyes being glued to the television. The auburn haired man noticed her, and looked up at her indigo colored eyes.

Rasa sighed. "I was hoping he would talk, his first word being mommy. It would cheer you up, wouldn't."

"You don't want him to say daddy? Temari's first word was mommy you know, and Kankuro's was poopy head." The smile fled Karura's lips as her husband let out a sigh. "It's time. To get Gaara tested, like you want. He is supposed to start first grade next year."

The distance seemed to keep growing.


	8. Emotional Pieces

Blame...

The fact parents were supposed to protect their children kept running through Rasa's mind as he sat next to his wife, his dark brown eyes watching Gaara playing with blocks on the table. The testing went on for a couple of weeks, and the auburn haired man found himself dreading the answer. The specialist sat on the couch across from them, the other man's fingers lifting up a piece of paper, but not giving an answer.

Karura spoke first. "So..."

"Gaara is on the autism spectrum." There came the diagnosis, and Rasa didn't feel any better, and instead felt himself sinking further into the deep end with each word the doctor said. While it was true that the specialist said Gaara could in fact live normally, everything the man said about autism not only sounded right, but also like something which would set Gaara apart from his peers. The auburn haired man's calloused fingers tightened slightly around Karura's wrist, and his breath tightened slightly.

The meeting with the specialist finally ended, but Rasa couldn't help but think that everything hadn't just ended for them, but just began. The man's dark brown eyes would drift over to his wife, and he flinched at seeing the rather miffed look in her indigo eyes. The auburn haired man shifted his eyes away, not speaking, but neither did Karura. She finally spoke when their two children came home, and they proceeded to explain things regarding Gaara to the two.

Kankuro's mouth twisted up into a pout. "So my little brother is a retard? I didn't want a retard, but someone I could play with and boss around."

"Your brother isn't a retard!" The chair Kankuro sat in thumped, and the brown haired child slammed one of the doors, making Rasa jump, his nerves being that on edge. One glance over at Gaara showed a small child who seemed just as on nerve as Rasa did. Temari however held out her hand to Gaara, and took him over to play with the blocks, and soon set herself up nearby on the floor doing her homework.

"Can you look me in the eye Rasa?"

The auburn haired man couldn't look Karura in the eye. "I just need to let this sink in."

"I also need your help."

"I'll try."

"I don't think that is enough. We'll talk again in a few days."

Rasa however found himself avoiding eye contact with his wife, and older two children, instead heading into his office, the guilt building up, the wonder of whether he couldn't have done something better. He leaned into his hands, the anxiety rushing over his tense body. The week came, and went, then another week, and another. Karura went over and over with him how they needed to do things differently, and suddenly he made a mistake.

"Why couldn't Gaara be normal?" Rasa leaned into his calloused hands, his auburn locks hanging down, his shoulder muscles horribly tense.

"What did you just say?" Karura's voice was tight.

"I said I wished Gaara would just be normal." The auburn haired man felt his own throat tighten, his mind not taking in the fact his sandy haired wife was ticked for him, and using a tone he'd not heard in a long time.

"Do you really mean that?"

"Yes. Yes, I do. Why wouldn't I?" Rasa continued to look at the table, his lips pushed together.

"Rasa, look at me." Karura's request wasn't met with an answer, and a sigh was soon followed up with words he hadn't wanted to hear. "I'm going to go and visit Yashamaru for awhile."

"Wait... are you taking the kids with you?" The auburn haired man's head darted up, his voice straining.

"No, just Gaara."

Rasa watched as Karura bustled around gathering up the things she and Gaara would need. The man ran a calloused hand through his hair, his throat tight as he tried to speak, but no words came out. Everything seemed to much like a dream, and then the door closed leaving him there with just Temari and Kankuro. The sinking feeling increased, and he found himself unable to explain things to his two eldest children.

Thus followed weeks of burnt breakfasts, his two oldest crying for their mother, Kankuro voicing the fact he felt it was Gaara's fault no matter how much Rasa tried explaining that it wasn't the auburn haired toddler's fault. " _No, it's my fault._ "

Word also got out around work that Karura had left him, possibly due to the fact Yashamaru said something, one of the bad lucks of working at the same company as your brother-in-law. His muscles became more tense, his jaw line twisted into what seemed like a perpetual frown, his calloused fingers wanting to crush the cup of coffee held in his hand every time he heard the gossip.

"Did you hear? The CEO's wife left him?"

"Well, I heard it's because he couldn't deal with his youngest being autistic. They were getting testing done, it's why he took time off work."

"Isn't that just some myth, an excuse for coddling one's child."

" _Coddling? I've never once had a chance to coddle Gaara. He won't even let me touch him. He..._ "

"It's been a few weeks now."

"I thought he was a nice guy, but now I wonder how Karura even fell for him."

The cup of coffee hit the trashcan, not a single sip taken from it, drawing the attention of the small group of gossiping women to the fact Rasa was indeed there, and he headed to his office. A knock came at the door, but he didn't answer. "Rasa?"

The auburn haired man looked up, his dark eyes settling on his brother-in-law. "Yashmaru?"

The sandy haired man didn't like the sound of disdain in Rasa's voice. "We're going out to lunch."

"I'm busy."

"I got your secretary to free up your schedule for the day. We're going. Now."

Rasa flinched, one of his brown eyes twitching as he looked at his brother-in-law. Normally Yashamaru was soft spoken, but right now he took control in the same way Karura usually did when Rasa had done something wrong. The auburn haired man stood up, and followed the sandy haired man out to Yashamaru's car, only to have the locks clicked down.

"We need to talk."

"We don't."

"How dare you say you wished Gaara was normal! Why can't you just accept him the way he is!"

Rasa felt his eye twitch again, wishing his brother-in-law hadn't interfered. "Why wouldn't I wish Gaara was normal?"

Yashamaru's jaw tightened, as did his fingers around the steering wheel. "Do you know how much I want to punch you! You made nee-chan cry! I thought you were different then this, but all you are is a bastard with a cold heart who tricked my sister into marrying you!"

"Damn it Yashmaru! What parent wouldn't want their child to live a normal life! I don't see what the big deal of wanting your child to be normal!"

"Because he's not!"

The sandy haired man's comment hit home, and Rasa remained silent, looking out the window as Yashmaru started up the car. The auburn haired man slid down. "I know he's not. It's my fault, and I can't fix it."

The tone of voice from the younger man quickly changed. "Rasa, it's not your fault. Have you been blaming yourself this whole time?"

"Since the day he was born. It's my job as his father to protect him, yet for some reason he hates the living daylights out of me. He won't let me touch him, so I can't comfort him like I do Kankuro and Temari, and that in itself is pretty hard. They're my children though."

"Gaara doesn't hate you. If anything, recently he's started to think you hate him."

Rasa swallowed, his brown eyes widening, his head darting over to look at Yashmaru. "What do you mean? Gaara doesn't talk."

"No, he still doesn't talk. He's got other ways of communicating though." The sandy haired man swallowed, then looked at Rasa with rather sad eyes, the same look Karura gave her husband at times. "I appologize for what I said."

"You aren't wrong. Everyone at work's saying the same thing."

"Karura's not. She just thinks you need time. Truth be told, I kind of wanted to believe her when she said I didn't really get you, but I also don't think what you need is time."

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" His brother-in-law didn't answer, but the turns off to the sandy haired man's residence told Rasa what he meant by taking him to lunch. The auburn haired man closed his eyes as the car came to as a stop, and the doors unlocked. "I know you mean well, Yashmaru, but this won't work."

"Just tell Karura how you feel for once, rather then keeping it in."

Rasa's entire body remained tense, and he watched as Gaara came running up to his uncle, asking to be picked up, a pang of jealousy racking his body. The man found himself sat down at the table across from Karura, and out of the corner of his eye he could see his small son staring at him, a look of horror on his face. The one time they made eye contact, and all Rasa got was fear. Yashamaru set the child down, and he clung to Karura's side.

The woman looked down. "Gaara, why don't you go and get what you made for me? I think daddy would like to see it."

"Yes, I would." Rasa watched as a smile spread across Gaara's face, and the toddler hurried off. The man looked down at the ground. "So..."

"Why are you here?"

Yashmaru walked off at that moment. Rasa sighed. "He brought me." The man looked up at his wife, and suddenly what Yashmaru suggested sounded like a good idea. He told her everything, and more, and Karura's stern look softened.

"It's really not your fault. And no, I can't fault you for wishing that Gaara was normal, so that other people would treat him normally. I think though, treating him normally needs to start with us. Yashmaru and I've been working with Gaara."

Rasa felt a tug at his sleeve, and looked down to see his son smiling, actually making eye contact with him, holding up a big red heart with scribbles on it. "Hi, Gaara."

The smile deepened, and Gaara's mouth opened up. Instead of the usual sounds, out came, "Daddy, look what I made mommy."

Rasa's eyes widened, the tension completely leaving his body, but also the room. He quickly scooped up Gaara, the picture falling to the ground, and the toddler showed discomfort. No scream came, and Rasa held him close. "Sorry Gaara, I'll try to be more gentle next time."

Tears began to fall from his eyes, and Gaara stared, soon crying himself. Karura let out a sigh, shaking her head. "You're an idiot Rasa." The woman stood up, and headed over to Gaara, rubbing the child's back. "Daddy's not mad at you Gaara. He's just really happy that you talked for the first time, and that you let him pick you up without screaming."

A chuckle came from Yashamaru as he brought out lunch. "I think you guys will be fine. I'll be around, Rasa-nii."

Rasa stared at the food cut into childish shapes and shook his head, wiping away the tears which had stopped as soon as Gaara started. "Great. You're more childish then my kids, Yashmaru."

"It works though."


End file.
